Relapsed

I am thinking I might get back into blogging again soon here. Ever since Olive's surgery I just have not thought of my blog. Now that things have slowed down and my baby girl is healthy (to be explained in detail in future post) I just need to get back to writing my "online diary". It is therapeutic. So I will share with you, whoever you are, soon. Very soon.

Let me tell you

My daughter is adorably cute.

Do you know how I know this?

Well I will tell you...

(16 month old Olive)

• She helps out with chores. Olive loves to fold laundry with me, granted "folding" is more like flinging a pair of Daddy's boxers around than smashing into a ball and putting it on top of the boxer pile. If that isn't cute, I am not sure what is. She smiles and claps for herself every time she "folds" something. She also puts away dishes. Mostly the Tupperware, because thats all she can reach. Oh she also puts away the popcorn bowl, she knows right where it goes with no help from me.
• Hygiene is important to her. Olive is the queen of brushing her teeth. It is very rare to see her without a toothbrush while we are at home. When bedtime or shower time rolls around she goes right for her toothbrush and wets it herself. She also humms while brushing, it helps her concentrate on killing all that plaque! Olive also loves to wash herself with her tiny pink puff. She can even put the soap on by herself. Than she rubs the puff all over, even her face. When she is done she slam dunks the puff on the shower floor and puts her hands up for me to rinse her off. What a silly girl!
• Clutter is not her friend. When too many of her toys are out of the box she will put them all back, one by one. Cheering herself on with a clap every time she puts a toy in the box.
• Feet protection is at the top of her list. Anytime Olive sees a pair of her tennies or flip flops she immediately puts them on her feet. Well she attempts to until she gets frustrated and brings them to me and says "on".
• Cheese is her middle name! Well technically Lyn is... When a camera is present she smiles, constantly smiles. Even if the camera is not on or pointed at her, she still smiles.
• She hunches when in trouble. Funny thing. When Olive plays with the T.V. buttons or I need to talk to her and I ask her to 'Come here' she bends her torso down half way like an old person and runs to wards me. The entire time she yells "Bad bad bad bad".
• Dehydration is a big NO. Olive is all about keeping hydrated. If Olive is around, you know her sippy cup is near. She comes to me about 10 times a day with her sippy cup or as she calls it "Mulllll" meaning milk. She mostly drinks ice water, the ice is very important. She will check and make sure the ice is in there by shaking the cup. When she doesn't hear the ice, she comes back to me and hands me her cup.
• Hugs and kisses heal. Olive loves to kiss and hug Devin and I. She does not hand out her kisses or hugs to just anyone. The only other people that have gotten an Olive kiss are Grandma Aurora and Grandma Saenz. When Olive sees that I am flustered or if I am crying, she will furrow her eyebrows and come give me a kiss on each cheek, a kiss on the lips and a hug that could cure cancer. Than she looks at me and says "To oahy" Meaning 'Are you ok?' Who wouldn't feel better after that?

These are just a few of things that make Olive adorably cute.

Olive helping with the laundry at 9 months

Wholey Moley!

I went to the Wholey Moley sale while it was still going on at Old Navy and got some cute stuff for cheap! They were offering 30% off of everything in store and online. I was surprised at how little people showed up, the store was like normal. I would have bogged about it sooner but I didn't have my camera to take pics of the cute stuff we bought. But I manged to take a pic of Olive's new flip flops last night with Devin's IPhone. We got lots of stuff and only spent 18 dollars. Here's what we got...

I of course had to get 2 pairs of flip flops!!

Olive got her second Old Navy onsie-

next year we will have to get a t-shirt because she is growing fast!

And we got two pairs of baby flip flops,

she wears size 6

These are so nifty because they have the back

so that they don't slip off.

We got her this pair

A solid blue color

And another pair that are brown with pink flowers.

She loves them!

And we got her this "jersey"

Successful shopping trip :]

Late night celebration

Devin bought some sparklers and other fun stuff on the way home from school so we decided to play with them tonight since the next two night he will be busy. Here are some pictures of the fun (Taken by Devin's IPhone) Computer is still in the hospital. :(

White sparkler

Olive in awe

On of those tank sparklers

This was suppose to be a blue sparkler, I say BOO!

The red sparklers put off lots of smoke

And my cute Booga Wooga of course!

(The stork bite in the middle of her forhead still hasn't gone away)

Current Giveaway

I have a giveaway going on at A Handmade Revolution

You can check it out here

ENTER TO WIN

Anti-social

Well the 4th of July is coming up and as usual Devin will be working BOTH jobs that day. Meaning I will only see him for about an hour for his lunch and that's it. I am ok with this, as is he, because he gets time and a half plus Sunday pay. This will help out with some money issues we are having this month but I will defiantly miss him on the 4th.\

I was invited to spend the 4th with Devin's family, as I always am when holidays roll around. I just feel so weird going to one of Devin's family gathering without him. You can defiantly say that I am anti-social. I use to be able to start a conversation with anyone and feel confident going into large groups of people but my weight has caused me to be less confident. So Olive and I won't be going to the family function on the 4th, instead we will watch a movie and eat some food, but just do our normal thing.

She is too young to even remember this so I don't feel much pressure to make it 'grand'. I do feel pressure however from his family. I feel bad saying "Thanks for the invite but I'm just staying home" because I feel as if I am being rude. My anti-social-ness does not care though, I would rather not be forced to socialize. Plus I would have to hitch a ride with the MIL making my 'get-away' difficult. I would have to stay there the whole time she is there (and she is the last to leave at family gatherings)  I am not sure if they understand why I don't come. But it's not something I worry about too much. I do wish sometimes that Devin didn't have to work so much, we hardly ever see him.

Tonight will be our "4th of July" celebration. Devin has half of the day of, he actually just came in the door!!

Well happy 4th of July to everyone!

Some words that brightened my day

"Woman was born to create...in creating she becomes herself, accomplishes her destiny. Her whole life is only an initiation into creative power. To create is not merely to produce a work...it is to give out ones own individuality."


-Jeanne De Vietinghoff

Potty Training

With all the extra time on my hands because of the incident, I have been doing things that have been on my list for a while but didn't get done because there were more important things to do instead. Yesterday I spent about 5 hours reading up on potty training and I think I have a good plan.

After Olive's surgery on the 20th of July, I will start potty training her. The method we will be using is the "no underwear method". Meaning Olive will wear nothing on her bottom while at home. And until she is potty trained she will go nowhere. So I guess the no underwear of diaper or even pull ups is a method that works very well. It is suppose to make them feel icky if they don't use the toilet. We have tile and wood at our house (expect for the game room which she is not even allowed in) so I think it will be good to try this method. I am suppose to keep her under ware and pants off for a week after she gets it. If she happens to poop or pee it will be an easier clean up than carpet. Her doctor mentioned this at her 9 month appointment but of coarse I was not even thinking about it then.

I found the toilet I want to use for her also. It is from one of my favorite brands Boon Inc.  

This thing is so nifty! I am so excited to buy it and open it up! There are three colors, blue, pink and green, but of coarse we had to choose green! This potty is so freakin cool. So when it is closed it just looks like a container of some sort but when you open it, it is plain to see what it is used for. There is a "drawer" that holds the waste and is easily removed with a cool handle and orange release tab. There are two compartments on each side. One for odds and ends. I will be putting disinfecting wipes, wet wipes and paper towels in that side. And on the other side there is a toilet paper holder!

Cool right!?

This nifty potty also doubles as a step stool! Great for washing dirty little hands afterward. And just like all of Olive's other toys and gadgets, I will be saving it and using it for the next Saenz baby that we have.

As for a treat or motivation for her to use the potty I have decided on Smarties. Those powdered candy tabs that come in a plastic wrap tube. They are super cheap and not too sweet. I will award her with one smartie for peeing and two smarties for a poop. I have already bought a container for them :)

It might sound weird but I am super excited to start this potty training thing. I can't wait to get her out of those diapers!

My Foot Hurts

.... so bad.


Sadface

Emergency Room

-I broke my ankle-

Yep, yesterday at 3 pm I was running inside to get a plate because the burgers were done cooking. I was wearing flip-flops... ummm hmmm. I guess there was some water on the floor from me washing dishes, I hit the wet spot, my foot went in and I stepped down hard, heard and felt a crack than went down. I brought my plates with me. It wouldn't be a true Cassie accident without a few broken somethings... The pain was pretty bad. I don't remember all the times that I cut off my finger, split my tongue in half, hit my chin and my tooth went through my lip... I don't remember the pain during all of those. But I am guessing I will remember this pain for the rest of my life.

I laid on the floor just screaming, pretty much. Olive was screaming because Mommy was screaming. When I realized what had happened and saw Olive freaked out, I stopped and took a breath. Devin came over and saw that my ankle was stuck all the way to the inside. I couldn't move it and it had already begun to swell and turn purple. I guess "Mom" mode kicked in, I stopped thinking about how bad it hurt and talked Devin through what to do calmly.

"Put Olive in her crib, turn off the stove and the grill. Pack the diaper bag, don't forget her bottle and a diaper! When the diaper bag is packed, come get me and help me get to the car. Then go back for Olive."

Devin told me this morning that the whole time while I was laying on the floor and on the way to the ER, I was humming, "It hurts so bad, it hurts so bad, it hurts so bad" I guess I did it to keep from screaming, I didn't want to scare Olive again.

Poor thing was still shaken up while driving to the hospital. Long story short, I was in the ER for 11 hours and the first 6 of them were pain pill free. I kept asking for a pain pill of some sort and they kept saying, sure sure I'll go get one. The ER was a bit crazy because of a car accident. Now I understand the order of things. And maybe I wasn't at the top of the "help now" list but I would have really liked a pain pill. It was torture.

But now I am home...in pain still. Vicodin is in my system but it doesn't seem to help much. I couldn't sleep hardly at all last night. I would wake up from the pain and I wasn't able to go back to sleep.

My poor baby is still iffy about Momma. She constantly wants hug and kisses my leg often. When I am on my crutches she freaks out, not sure why, she just runs from me and cries :( Last night when Devin and I got home Maria was here watching Olive. I hoped in the door and Olive ran to me and hugs my good leg. I am always with Olive. 24/7 since she was brought home from the NICU. Devin and I have gone out a couple times but not often AT ALL. So to see her miss me and run to me when I got home just warmed my heart. I missed her like crazy in the ER.

I went straight to my bed and she followed. She climbed up on the bed with "The Stinky Cheeseman" and handed me the book. I read to her while Devin went to the pharmacy. When I was done reading a section, she took the book and read to me. SO cute. Then she climbed up on my chest, gave me three kisses, on both cheeks and on my lips, laid down on my chest and pulled the blanket over her. I held her and she went right to sleep. I was a nice ending to a bad day. I love that girl.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night's sky are shouting stars: I could really use a wish right now.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

Lately, I have been extremely grateful of my relationship with God. I struggle, on a daily basis, with who I am. I have been turned away so many times and left to pick myself up and carry on with no support. At most of those times I have looked up, to God, and asked why this has happened once more. I was angry with him, as if he did this to me or as if he didn't stop the things that happened. He just smiles and reminds me that I am his child and that he will always love me, even when no one else does and that everything that happens in my life is for a reason. It gives me peace to think of the love God has for me. It helps me to carry on. To pick myself up, out of the gutter, clean myself off and start again. I know, no madder what happens in my life, that I will always have God with me. Watching me as I choose my path, nudging me along. But right now it is not me that needs help, it is my daughter. Her life is in the hands of a doctor that I trust so much. Still I turn to God and ask him to watch over her. To hold her hand through the whole process. To send a special angel to stay by her side. Nothing can happen to her. I fear if something does happen, my relationship with God would be in trouble. I need him to help me, to help her. He can not fail me this time. I need him and I need her. She is my everything.

Please pray for my daughter, Olive. Especially on the 20th of July. I can not imagine a world without her.

Barbie

I broke down and bought Olive a 5 dollar Barbie. We chose one that looked like her, olive skin, dark brown hair. I am not sure how I feel about Barbie and her figure but I guess if Olive enjoys playing with her than it is all good with me.

But for the record I am iffy about Barbie... she gives me the creeps. No one is that skinny. No one!

(This is where a cute photo of Olive

 and her barbie would be posted

 but my camera is still broken, sad, I know)

I am in my dark place

Olive is sleeping next to me on my semi-new comfy bed while I:

-Put a list together of shoes, for customers, that need to be shipped out

-Stress over where the money, to pay for the upcoming medical stuff, is coming from.

-Figure out how to round the edges of my photos digitally.
-Pray to God that Canon can fix my camera.
-Rub aloe on my sunburn.
-Try to forget about family.
-Wait for my love to get home and hold me.
-Watch my little lady sleep peacefully, despite skipping nap time and fighting me all day.
-Put together my calendar for the next month.
-Rewrite my item descriptions for my Etsy store Tortoise and Hare

All the while, I'm in a weird mood. Almost depressed. I just feel alone. I wish we weren't in this situation. I wish Olive had no Kidney issues. I wish money was easier to come by. I wish I could personally overcome a conflict that has been going on for years. I pray to God often that honesty will overcome evil and those that lay in it's path, but it seems my honesty will never be perceived as it is, rather shunned and twisted. One day he will be punished, I believe this with every fiber of my being, it is the only thing keeping me from breaking down. That and my relationship with God. I am so thankful for the life I have today. I am thankful for being free from his grasp. I am thankful to feel so much love from my husband and daughter and to know that it is unconditional. I love God for who he has helped me to be. A strong Mother and Wife. But I am human, so for now I will crawl up in a ball and pray.

(5 months old)

Love like no other

I love this man.

He is more than I could have ever asked for.

Thank you, God, for sending him to me.

I miss this

I wish I still had time to sew little girl dresses :[

But I am going to sew up 3 dresses for Olive

 with some gorgeous vintage fabric that I found.

I miss this dress, I sold it for far too little money.

Not doing Well

I have not been doing very well lately with my weight loss.

But I am getting back on track

Because I want to look like this again.

Highschool Senior Pictures

And like this...

Homecoming dress shopping

Goofy grin and all

But so thin, I CANT believe I thought I was fat then.

And this one is just for a laugh.

Freshman year in Highschool

How embarressing.... fishnet tank?? WOW

 

TRIPLE DIGITS :]

I DID IT! I MADE IT TO 100 SALES

One hundred and two to be exact. I feel so accomplished. I did it :] So I have been open for 6 months now (My online site Tortoise and Hare) 100 sales in 6 months for a new shop on Etsy is good. I see beautiful shops that have been open for a full year and hardly have 30 sales. I must be doing something right.

I work my butt off to make my customers happy, produce long lasting and professionally finished products, I advertise like a crazy person and I am always looking for the perfect fabrics (Sometimes I stay up until the sun comes up looking for awesome fabric on online Japanese stores)  I have put everything into my business since the first day I started. Though i did have times when I felt like I would go nowhere or that I couldn't do it. I got through those downs with the help from my husband Devin. He always pushes me to do my best and encourages me when things don't look so good. Thanks Hon!

I just wanted to share with my 13 followers (ha) that I have seen my dreams come true and for once things are looking up. -Now to just get through Olive's next surgery-

The sad news, I have hardly made a dent yet in all those medical bills that Olive has racked up,

 so why don't you go buy something for your little ones feet

or a Mother you know that needs a something special for her little one.

Browse through my designs at Tortoise and Hare Designs

"Mayhem is Coming"

I have been seeing these commercials for Allstate where, the actor Dean Winters, acts like a deer, a teenager, a dog and a squirrel. He says things like "I'm a confused deer" while wearing a suit and running into the street. For some reason these commercials CRACK ME UP. I pee my pants laughing every time they come on. I.love.them.

Here is a couple if you haven't seen them yet.

The deer one has got to be my favorite, the key is kinda stupid.

Get to Know Me: Part 1

20 Mommy Questions

How old were you when your first child was born?
-Eighteen
What month and year was your youngest child born?
Feb of 2009
How did you feel when you first found out you were pregnant?
Scared and lost but once the shocked cleared I was so excited.
Who did you tell first?
My husband
How many pounds did you gain during your first pregnancy?
Too many!
What did you crave while you were pregnant?
Everything and everything. Everyday it was something new that I had to have.
Did you find out the gender of your first child? Why or why not?
Yes, so I could prepare before she got here.
Did you have any complications during your pregnancy?
Yes. We found out at 16 weeks gest that Olive had a kidney disorder. My pregnancy it's self was hard because I had severe adema in my legs and feet and high blood pressure that made me have to take it easy my whole pregnancy and take meds 3 times daily. And I developed preclampsia at 34 weeks and had an emergency c-section.
How much did your first child weigh?
7lbs 6oz
Was your first child early, late, or on time?
6 weeks early
What is the most difficult challenge or health issue that any of your children have faced?
My daughter has a combination of disorders dealing with her kidneys and was in the nicu for a month. She has had two surgeries and we are planning on the next one being when she is around a year and a half. She also has been taking a daily antibiotic since she was born and will continue to take it until her last surgery or until she is 2.
What's your favorite part of being a mom?
The love this child has for me. I have never felt more loved in my life. I love solving her problems and soothing her. It's the best job ever.
Do you think it's easier to be a mom or a dad?
I think they are equal. My husband works two jobs, 80 hours a week. I wouldn't give up being a stay at home mom to do his job. But he can't do what I do. I think it's the perfect balance.
What is the best piece of advice you could give to someone who is about to have their first child?
Patience is the key.
Did you always think you'd have kids?
Yes, I was born to be a Mother.
What's been the biggest surprise about motherhood?
It's not as hard as everyone tells you it will be.
Are there things you miss about life before kids?
Yes, I miss my life, haha. But I wouldn't give my life up now for anything.
How many children do you have?
One.
Do you plan to have any more children?
Yes, I would like to have up to 4.
Who's the mom that you admire most?
 My Adopted Mom, Aurora. She has been there for me more than my real Mother and has helped me through so much. She is definantly the shoulder that I lean on and she always invites me right in. I am so thankful for her.

I am a Mother

I'd rather be a mother than anyone on earth

Bringing up a child or two of unpretentious birth...

I'd rather tuck a little child safe and sound in bed

than twine a chain of diamonds about my [carefree] head

I'd rather wash a smudgy face with round, bright, baby eyes

Than paint the pageantry of fame or walk among the wise.

- Meredith Gray

Terrible Twos

Yep. I think we are already in the "terrible twos". Which is so overwhelming because Olive is only 16 almost 17 months old. It just seems like all I do all day is ignore tantrums, redirect and explain why she can't do certain things. I CAN NOT handle all the fits. I really can't. I am trying sooo hard though.

For example, I am making dinner. She wants her food, but I am not done. I tell her "Baby I am almost done, then you can eat and fill that empty belly. Just a few more minutes". (and it's not even that she is hungry but just that she wants what she wants) But she just throws herself on the ground and cries and cries and cries. I ignore it or redirect her. But I never give her what she is crying for. I don't want to be that parent that does anything to shut their kids mouth. I want her to learn that throwing a fit will get her nowhere with me. So far, she doesn't understand so I will just repeat repeat repeat! But I have got to tell you, I was not ready for all of this. I miss my sweet cooing, drooling, spitting up baby girl. Why can't we just keep them as babies forever? I would soooo go back to 3am feeding in exchange for the tantrums any day.

But for now I will just stay strong. I will not give in because I do not want a brat for a child. She has so much more potential than that. A firm hand is what I owe her.

So silly- Olive and Hephalump (7 months)

Disney Land 2010

I thought since I can't take new pictures of Olive (due to the death of my camera) and post about them, I would post some cute pictures from our trip to Disney Land. We went to Disney Land with the Mother in Law, Devin, Olive and myself. I had so much fun! I turned into the biggest kid, Devin and I rode lots of rides while the MIL watched Olive. MIL has been there MANY times so she let us enjoy it as much as we could. I felt like I was dating Devin again. We were like little teenagers, giggling and kissing in the lines. Holding hands on the rides and while we walked the park. I had such a wonderful time and I was so glad Olive was old enough to come. She rode the Nemo ride, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride and the carousel. That was pretty much all that she was awake for.

Here are some cute photos of our trip:

(Olive at the Knotsberry Farm Resturant, it was NOT good)

Arriving at Disneyland

Devin mapping out our route

First ride Devin and I went on

One of the three hats we got her

It's Disneyland, you have to go overboard

Grumpy Olive in the Nemo line

My goofy Husband

Maria (MIL) Devin and Olive

Why am I not in any pictures?

1.I take them all because no one else will

2. I am fat and I do not liking being in pictures

Olive on the Nemo ride

Olive sized door

Devin on the Dumbo ride

Waiting in line for Mr. Toad's Wild Ride

Most amusing thing at Disneyland....

So tired she was histerical

On the train to the car

At the hotel

Now, please go buy some cute shoes for your baby's feet at Tortoise and Hare Designs so that I can buy a new camera :[