I am in my dark place

Olive is sleeping next to me on my semi-new comfy bed while I:

-Put a list together of shoes, for customers, that need to be shipped out

-Stress over where the money, to pay for the upcoming medical stuff, is coming from.

-Figure out how to round the edges of my photos digitally.
-Pray to God that Canon can fix my camera.
-Rub aloe on my sunburn.
-Try to forget about family.
-Wait for my love to get home and hold me.
-Watch my little lady sleep peacefully, despite skipping nap time and fighting me all day.
-Put together my calendar for the next month.
-Rewrite my item descriptions for my Etsy store Tortoise and Hare

All the while, I'm in a weird mood. Almost depressed. I just feel alone. I wish we weren't in this situation. I wish Olive had no Kidney issues. I wish money was easier to come by. I wish I could personally overcome a conflict that has been going on for years. I pray to God often that honesty will overcome evil and those that lay in it's path, but it seems my honesty will never be perceived as it is, rather shunned and twisted. One day he will be punished, I believe this with every fiber of my being, it is the only thing keeping me from breaking down. That and my relationship with God. I am so thankful for the life I have today. I am thankful for being free from his grasp. I am thankful to feel so much love from my husband and daughter and to know that it is unconditional. I love God for who he has helped me to be. A strong Mother and Wife. But I am human, so for now I will crawl up in a ball and pray.

(5 months old)