I am in my dark place

Olive is sleeping next to me on my semi-new comfy bed while I:

-Put a list together of shoes, for customers, that need to be shipped out

-Stress over where the money, to pay for the upcoming medical stuff, is coming from.

-Figure out how to round the edges of my photos digitally.
-Pray to God that Canon can fix my camera.
-Rub aloe on my sunburn.
-Try to forget about family.
-Wait for my love to get home and hold me.
-Watch my little lady sleep peacefully, despite skipping nap time and fighting me all day.
-Put together my calendar for the next month.
-Rewrite my item descriptions for my Etsy store Tortoise and Hare

All the while, I'm in a weird mood. Almost depressed. I just feel alone. I wish we weren't in this situation. I wish Olive had no Kidney issues. I wish money was easier to come by. I wish I could personally overcome a conflict that has been going on for years. I pray to God often that honesty will overcome evil and those that lay in it's path, but it seems my honesty will never be perceived as it is, rather shunned and twisted. One day he will be punished, I believe this with every fiber of my being, it is the only thing keeping me from breaking down. That and my relationship with God. I am so thankful for the life I have today. I am thankful for being free from his grasp. I am thankful to feel so much love from my husband and daughter and to know that it is unconditional. I love God for who he has helped me to be. A strong Mother and Wife. But I am human, so for now I will crawl up in a ball and pray.

(5 months old)

Love like no other

I love this man.

He is more than I could have ever asked for.

Thank you, God, for sending him to me.

I miss this

I wish I still had time to sew little girl dresses :[

But I am going to sew up 3 dresses for Olive

 with some gorgeous vintage fabric that I found.

I miss this dress, I sold it for far too little money.

Not doing Well

I have not been doing very well lately with my weight loss.

But I am getting back on track

Because I want to look like this again.

Highschool Senior Pictures

And like this...

Homecoming dress shopping

Goofy grin and all

But so thin, I CANT believe I thought I was fat then.

And this one is just for a laugh.

Freshman year in Highschool

How embarressing.... fishnet tank?? WOW

 

TRIPLE DIGITS :]

I DID IT! I MADE IT TO 100 SALES

One hundred and two to be exact. I feel so accomplished. I did it :] So I have been open for 6 months now (My online site Tortoise and Hare) 100 sales in 6 months for a new shop on Etsy is good. I see beautiful shops that have been open for a full year and hardly have 30 sales. I must be doing something right.

I work my butt off to make my customers happy, produce long lasting and professionally finished products, I advertise like a crazy person and I am always looking for the perfect fabrics (Sometimes I stay up until the sun comes up looking for awesome fabric on online Japanese stores)  I have put everything into my business since the first day I started. Though i did have times when I felt like I would go nowhere or that I couldn't do it. I got through those downs with the help from my husband Devin. He always pushes me to do my best and encourages me when things don't look so good. Thanks Hon!

I just wanted to share with my 13 followers (ha) that I have seen my dreams come true and for once things are looking up. -Now to just get through Olive's next surgery-

The sad news, I have hardly made a dent yet in all those medical bills that Olive has racked up,

 so why don't you go buy something for your little ones feet

or a Mother you know that needs a something special for her little one.

Browse through my designs at Tortoise and Hare Designs

"Mayhem is Coming"

I have been seeing these commercials for Allstate where, the actor Dean Winters, acts like a deer, a teenager, a dog and a squirrel. He says things like "I'm a confused deer" while wearing a suit and running into the street. For some reason these commercials CRACK ME UP. I pee my pants laughing every time they come on. I.love.them.

Here is a couple if you haven't seen them yet.

The deer one has got to be my favorite, the key is kinda stupid.

Get to Know Me: Part 1

20 Mommy Questions

How old were you when your first child was born?
-Eighteen
What month and year was your youngest child born?
Feb of 2009
How did you feel when you first found out you were pregnant?
Scared and lost but once the shocked cleared I was so excited.
Who did you tell first?
My husband
How many pounds did you gain during your first pregnancy?
Too many!
What did you crave while you were pregnant?
Everything and everything. Everyday it was something new that I had to have.
Did you find out the gender of your first child? Why or why not?
Yes, so I could prepare before she got here.
Did you have any complications during your pregnancy?
Yes. We found out at 16 weeks gest that Olive had a kidney disorder. My pregnancy it's self was hard because I had severe adema in my legs and feet and high blood pressure that made me have to take it easy my whole pregnancy and take meds 3 times daily. And I developed preclampsia at 34 weeks and had an emergency c-section.
How much did your first child weigh?
7lbs 6oz
Was your first child early, late, or on time?
6 weeks early
What is the most difficult challenge or health issue that any of your children have faced?
My daughter has a combination of disorders dealing with her kidneys and was in the nicu for a month. She has had two surgeries and we are planning on the next one being when she is around a year and a half. She also has been taking a daily antibiotic since she was born and will continue to take it until her last surgery or until she is 2.
What's your favorite part of being a mom?
The love this child has for me. I have never felt more loved in my life. I love solving her problems and soothing her. It's the best job ever.
Do you think it's easier to be a mom or a dad?
I think they are equal. My husband works two jobs, 80 hours a week. I wouldn't give up being a stay at home mom to do his job. But he can't do what I do. I think it's the perfect balance.
What is the best piece of advice you could give to someone who is about to have their first child?
Patience is the key.
Did you always think you'd have kids?
Yes, I was born to be a Mother.
What's been the biggest surprise about motherhood?
It's not as hard as everyone tells you it will be.
Are there things you miss about life before kids?
Yes, I miss my life, haha. But I wouldn't give my life up now for anything.
How many children do you have?
One.
Do you plan to have any more children?
Yes, I would like to have up to 4.
Who's the mom that you admire most?
 My Adopted Mom, Aurora. She has been there for me more than my real Mother and has helped me through so much. She is definantly the shoulder that I lean on and she always invites me right in. I am so thankful for her.